Distant Healer, Philip Chave, Spiritual Healer. Sharing the healing experience online since 2003
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Phil Chave
Phil Chave
creator of Distant Healer




















Internet Addiction Counselling


Are you an Internet addict?
    Is porn a large part of your Internet activity?
        Marriage suffering because of Internet addiction?
            Need help and don't know where to turn?

Find Relief from the Anxiety and Guilt of Internet Addiction Disorder

Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD) is a fairly modern disorder which has come about as a result of the phenomenal success of the internet the world over. In my experience of Internet Addiction counselling, we usually divide IAD into several subtypes, such as pornography, overwhelming and immoderate gaming, inappropriate involvement in online social networking sites, chat rooms or blogging, and Internet shopping addiction.

These activities, if done in person, would normally be considered troublesome, at the very least, and grounds for divorce, at their highest. All of them are troubling to the extent that these activities interfere with normal daily life, of the individual and to any relationship partners.

Problematic computer use or pathological computer use are accepted descriptions for excessive computer use that interferes with normal daily life. These terms avoid any distracting or divisive terms, like addiction, and are not limited to any single cause.

Whilst some would say that Internet Addiction is neither a true addiction nor a specific disorder, there is enough of it about for it to be classified as a family and individual disorder that has relationship consequences. Often it is associated with other conditions, such as ADD (ADHD), depression, PTSD, anxiety, OCD, and other obsessive and compulsive disorders.

It has been estimated by the Harvard University's McLean Hospital Computer Addiction Study, that between five and ten percent of Web surfers suffer some form of Web dependency. This can involve any or all of the following; sex, gaming, gambling, chat, cybersex and online shopping.

Unlike some forms of anxiety tranquilizer, like, cigarettes, alcohol and drugs, virtual addiction can instantly induce dissociation, time distortion, and instant gratification. Highly stressed individuals, or those suffering depression, anxiety or emotional turmoil, can find the fantastical experience of the Internet a psychological escape that has the added advantage of not only reversing the stress, but releasing a 'buzz' into the body, a chemical hit like an adrenaline rush.

The downside to this is the subsequent 'drop' which leads to more depression, more stress and more biological imbalance. This see-saw effect becomes not only time consuming but eventually is detrimental to health, work, finances and family relationships.

Over 60% of people seeking treatment for Internet Addiction Disorder need help overcoming sexual activities online which they now consider inappropriate, such as excessive attention to pornography, or involvement in explicit sexual conversations online. In addition, more than half are also addicted to alcohol, drugs, tobacco, or sex.

I'm no longer controlling my Internet use. It's controlling me!
It's not the amount of time you spend on the computer that is the problem. It's whether the time you do spend is causing you serious problems, such as the loss of your job, marital difficulties, depression, isolation and anxiety, and yet, despite this, you cannot stop. After all, you cannot really be addicted to the Internet, can you?

As we've already suggested, "Internet addicts" are already usually suffering some other type of depressive, compulsive, obsessive disorder, and the Internet is just another manifestation of how sufferers try to self-medicate their anxiety. Gamblers will gamble, whether this is through the use of a computer or a betting shop. A sex addict will continue with the obsession whether this is through online pornography, or the magazines in the top row of the newsagents.

I think it is the anonymity and ease of use that is appealing to start with. After, the isolation sets in, there is a reluctance to go back to old ways. This leads to increased anxiety, obsessiveness and loneliness.

So what's wrong with just stopping?
Ideally, this is the best way to overcome this type of addiction. Turn the computer off and leave it alone for a while. But in today's world, that is not very practical, nor is it, if you use your computer for work, even possible.

Some estimate that between five and 10 per cent of online users—are addicted to the Internet, and that while early research suggests most are highly educated, highly introverted males, more recent studies suggest the bulk of the problem is occurring among middle-aged women on home computers.

Pornography addiction (need real confidential help? Click here.)
Pornography addiction is a form of sexual addiction characterized by the overuse or abuse of pornography. Online pornography addiction can be defined as a psychological addiction to, or dependence upon, pornography obtained via the Internet, characterized by obsessive viewing, reading, and thinking about pornography and sexual themes to the detriment of other areas of one's own life.

A great deal of time is spent in activities necessary for the behavior, engaging in the behavior, or recovering from its effects, and over time, there is a need to increase the intensity or frequency of the behavior in order to achieve the same or desired effect.

The addictive and progressive nature of pornography is well documented, as is the control it can take of a person's life and relationships. In order to satisfy their addiction, addicts will spend extended periods of time searching the internet for new or increasingly hardcore pornography.

Once online pornography becomes rationalized, and what was once taboo, naughty or just plain sexy, no longer holds the same stimulation, there is a natural desensitization to specific types of images, and there is a need to escalate to more shocking, rougher, kinkier or more bizarre images and video. This can be mind altering, in that, a person can start to think that this is something they've never seen, never done, or never thought of before.

There may be a desire to act out some of the more experimental aspects depicted in the pornographic material, and this, assuming they don't already know, is when a spouse can become suspicious. More and more demands of an uncharacteristic nature can lead to questions being asked and eventually the risk of being caught is high. The alternative is to seek a partner outside of the relationship.

CD & MP3 option

In Conversation with Philip Chave - Understanding, Coping and Eliminating Pornography Addiction and Sexual Addiction

Over 2.5 hrs of Q&A on 2 CD's. Self help when you need it most! Say goodbye to porn addiction fast.

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In Conversation with Philip Chave -
Understanding, Coping and Eliminating Pornography Addiction and Sexual Addiction


How to Treat and Overcome Your Porn Addiction, Masturbation Addiction and Sexual Addiction
Porn addiction can have an incredibly destructive influence on a persons life; often the damage is done long before anyone realizes there is a problem. Relationships, marriages and friendships can be torn apart in an instant of discovery, while millions of others struggle with their porn addiction for years in secret, often at the expense of their families, their jobs, their social life and their own physical health.

Porn addicts suffer from low self-esteem, fear of discovery, and can spend hours locked in a fantasy world of their own making. It is one of the most difficult addictions to overcome, especially when you feel you are on your own and there is nobody to turn to. That's where this 2 CD set is designed to help you. By providing the tools and ideas you need to overcome your addiction and escape those feelings of isolation, secrecy and dependence on pornography.

Listen to 'In Conversation with Philip Chave', and learn how to leave porn addiction behind you.

NEW! - MP3 option now available for immediate download.

Cybersex
Cybersex, computer sex, internet sex or net sex is a virtual sex encounter in which two or more persons connected remotely via a computer network send one another sexually explicit messages describing a sexual experience. It is a form of role-playing in which the participants pretend they are having actual sexual relations. Thus, fantasy sex is accomplished by the participants describing their actions and responding to their chat partners in a mostly written form designed to stimulate their own sexual feelings and fantasies.

Cybersex sometimes includes real life masturbation. The quality of a cybersex encounter typically depends upon the participants' abilities to evoke a vivid, visceral mental picture in the minds of their partners, or in your own mind. Imagination and suspension of disbelief are critically important.

Cybersex can occur either within the context of existing or intimate relationships, e.g. among lovers who are geographically separated, or among individuals who have no prior knowledge of one another and meet in virtual spaces or cyberspaces and may even remain anonymous to one another. In some contexts cybersex is enhanced by the use of webcams to transmit real-time video of the partners.

Cybersex is commonly performed in Internet chat rooms (such as IRC, talkers or web chats) and on instant messaging systems. Cybersex differs from phone sex in that it offers a greater degree of anonymity and allows participants to meet partners more easily. A good deal of cybersex takes place between partners who have just met online. Unlike phone sex, cybersex in chat rooms is rarely commercial.

Some would argue that since cybersex can satisfy some sexual desires without the risk of sexually transmitted disease or pregnancy, it is a physically safe way for young people to experiment with sexual thoughts and emotions. Additionally, people with long-term ailments (including HIV) can engage in cybersex as a way to safely achieve sexual gratification without putting their partners at risk.

Therapists report a growing number of patients addicted to this activity, a form of both Internet addiction and sexual addiction, with the standard problems associated with addictive behavior. The powerful emotions generated during intimate cybersex can cause marital stress, especially when cybersex culminates in an Internet romance. In several known cases Internet adultery became the grounds for which a couple divorced.

Video game addiction
Video game addiction is the compulsive use of computer and video games. Instances have been reported in which users play compulsively, isolating themselves from social contact and focusing almost entirely on in-game achievements rather than life events. Like compulsive gambling, video game addiction is said to be an impulse control disorder.

A 2008 Study by Stanford University School of Medicine suggests that video game addiction in men may be more prevalent than women as the part of the brain that generates rewarding feelings is more activated in men than women during video-game play. Also, from a territorial point of view, a seemingly shy or socially inept person in real life can become a god and master in game role play, or a combat hero who can save the day and gain the respect of other players who see them as someone to look up too.

Many gaming addicts are looking for a way to escape reality and then find that they can create a whole new persona with an online game and live their life through their new online personality. Through this they can start to like fantasy life more than reality due to newfound friends and power, and thus, refuse to be drawn away from it.

Treatment - Use of content control and monitoring
Some clinicians and support organizations recommend using voluntary content control mechanisms (also known as "Internet filters" and "censorware"), internet monitoring, or both as a tool in the treatment of purportedly excessive Internet use.

This is perhaps a good first try, but successfully treating any kind of addiction involves more than just mechanical means to prevent relapses. Addressing the reasons for the excessive moves into online pornography, cybersex, chat rooms, ebay, facebook and the like, is what gives the addicted individual the means to come out of their addiction.

I'd like to invite anyone who is addicted to surfing the web to make an appointment and give the Haven Healing Services a try. If you live in any of the towns and villages in the panel below this article, you are well within a 2-40 minute drive of The Haven Healing Centre, and I will do everything I can to help you with this problem.

Please call Phil Chave on 01934 740275 to make your appointment or to talk about a treatment plan structured around your needs. Singles or couples are welcome.

Don't wait. Make your appointment today. You'll be glad you did!

Best Wishes from Phil
P.S. If you or your partner are having relationship problems because of internet addiction, porn addiction, cybersex addiction or gaming addiction, and you want to change, pick up the phone and give me a call! I can see you at your convenience, in a confidential and safe environment, where you can talk if you want to, and I will personally teach you and hand you the tools you will need for success.

The Self Healing Meditation CD The Cord Cutting Technique CD Help Yourself. The Miracle of Self Healing CD
The Healers Self Healing Meditation CD - Playtime approx. 35mins The Cord Cutting Technique, a CD by Philip Chave The Miracle of Self Healing; a CD by Philip Chave


Free Yourself from Smoking the Easy Way Relaxation at the Beach
Relieve Emotional Stress
Facing Surgery? Reduce Anxiety/Promote Healing
The Self Help Stop Smoking CD by Philip Chave The Relexation at the Beach CD by Philip Chave The Surgery Assistance CD by Philip Chave



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All of These Local Areas Are Within a Short Drive of The Haven Healing Centre, Cheddar, Somerset
Abbots Leigh, Ashwick, Avonmouth, Axbridge, Babington, Backwell, Badgworth, Bagley, Banwell, Barrow Gurney, Bason Bridge, Bath, Beckington, Berrow, Biddisham, Bishop Sutton, Bitton, Blackford, Blagdon, Bleadon, Bleadney, Bradford-on-Avon, Brean, Brent Knoll, Bristol, Burnham-on-Sea, Burrington, Butcombe, Cameley, Catcott, Chantry, Chapel Allerton, Cheddar, Chelwood, Chew Magna, Chew Stoke, Chilcompton, Churchill, Clapton, Claverham, Claverton, Cleeve, Clevedon, Clutton, Cocklake, Coleford, Compton Bishop, Compton Dando, Compton Martin, Congresbury, Coxley, Cranmore, Cross, Downhead, Draycott, Dundry, Dunkerton, East Brent, East Harptree, East Huntspill, Easton-in-Gordano, Edithmead, Emborough, Englishcombe, Evercreech, Failand, Farmborough, Farrington Gurney, Felton, Flax Bourton, Freshford, Frome, Glastonbury, Godney, Green Ore, Gurney Slade, Highbridge, Highbury, High Littleton, Hinton Blewett, Hutton, Inglesbatch, Kelston, Kenn, Kewstoke, Keynsham, Kilmersdon, Kingston Seymour, Langford, Litton, Locking, Long Ashton, Lower Weare, Loxton, Lympsham, Mark, Marksbury, Mells, Midsomer Norton, Monkton Combe, Nailsea, Nempnett Thrubwell, Nettlebridge, Newbury, Oldmixon, Paulton, Peasedown, Pensford, Pilton, Portishead, Prestleigh, Priddy, Priston, Pucklechurch, Pudlow, Puxton, Queen Charlton, Radstock, Redhill, Rickford, Ridgehill, Rodney Stoke, Rooks Bridge, Rowberrow, Saltford, Sandford, Shapwick, Shepton Mallet, Shipham, Sidcot, Somerton, Stanton Drew, Star, Staverton, St Georges, Stoke St Michael, Ston Easton, Stone Bridge, Stowey, Street, Temple Cloud, Tickenham, Timsbury, Trowbridge, Ubley, Weare, Wedmore, Wellow, Wells, West Harptree, West Horrington, Weston-Super-Mare, West Pennard, Whatley, Whitchurch, Winford, Winscombe, Wookey, Wraxall, Wrington, Yatton
For all enquiries please call Phil on: 01934 740275 Also you can: Email this page to a friend.

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Copyright  ©  Philip Chave 2003-www.distanthealer.co.uk -- www.thehavenhealingcentre.co.uk  All rights reserved.
DISCLAIMER: This information is not presented by a medical practitioner and is for educational and informational purposes only. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read.

The Haven Healing Centre is located at: The Orchard, Draycott Rd, Cheddar, Somerset, BS27 3RU